Why is SUBSTANCE Missing in so Many Relationships?


Too many people in today’s society use titles, money, and other man made items to gauge whether someone is worthy of their time.  Too often I hear the phrase “love don’t pay the bills.”  While this is true, does paid bills make you feel loved inside?  Is money a support system when you are down and need encouragement after a long day at work?  Can money show you affection?  Maybe it’s me, but the last time I checked you couldn’t cuddle or make love to a receipt.  Is it money and financial status you love, or companionship, loyalty, faithfulness, and mental stimulation?

It seems like so many people these days lack substance when it comes to their definition of love.  We live in a world where reality TV, social networks,  and other forms of media are brainwashing those who aren’t free thinkers.  People are being sold superficial lifestyles and they are missing out on true love by searching for something that doesn’t exist, an illusion.  

The super long extensions, too much makeup, over-sized designer handbags,  shades, and heels look on a woman often times equal no substance at all.  To a free thinker, this “basket ball wife inspired fashion” modern trend is a total turn off.  Often times these women are more in to a man’s financial status and what he can provide for them, opposed to how she can be an asset to him and actually growing and building TOGETHER.  She will never admit it but it’s all about her.  Metaphorically, these women are often more concerned with the packaging and not the gift itself.  They may place too much thought on what others think of them, their mate, and/or their relationship.  How shallow?

Men who only want a chick that looks like a video vixen are often, you guessed it, shallow.  You’d be disappointed if you saw the flaws and blemishes of their physique before the digital enhancements.  That “beauty” you’re seeing on your screen is manufactured, which means it’s not real.  Yes men are very visual and step one is a physical attraction.  These men, however, aren’t looking for anything long term though.  They mainly want a “good night” with a pretty young thing or arm candy for cool points by their peers.  He’s not into her intellect, passions, or goals.  This type of guy isn’t using her values as a metric to measure if she would be a good fit for raising a family.  He’s self absorbed and it boosts his self esteem to know that he’s having a “good time” with something “exotic” even if he has to spend large sums of money to get it.

One of the main causes of divorce is money. Why? People loved each other well before currency was even invented.  So why has it become such a major part of relationships and marriages?  Does the phrase go “til death do us part” or “til DEBT do us part?” Yes, money does make certain situations more convenient and easier, but it won’t make you happy.  Happiness comes from within.  Happiness comes from being at peace with yourself and no amount of money can purchase this.  “What profits a man to gain the world, but lose his soul?” – Mark 8:36

You may be wondering why can’t you meet someone with all these mental attributes as well as financial security. It is not impossible, it is just highly unlikely.  If you have lived life long enough and have enough experiences under your belt you’d know that those with the most money are often arrogant, self absorbed, and use their riches to try and get whatever they want.  Those with the most substance often times are not the wealthiest.  It’s a give-and-take.  Just know that most of the time the more you get of one, the less you will  get of the other.

That is what makes hipster love so amazing.  On the exterior the couple may seem so weird to the masses because they can appear to be odd.  Whether it’s an interracial couple, age difference, significant difference in height, or a couple dressed in what appears to be exotic attire, none of these factors are a deterrent when it comes to true love.  This is because the love is based on substance and not image and status.   So where do you go to greater your chances of meeting someone with substance?  Try bookstores, coffee shops, thrift shops, grocery stores, etc.  Target places where people aren’t too wrapped up in creating a persona about themselves, but are more likely to just be themselves.

Posted by Thomas Tillmon


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